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Lone Star Hero
Jolene Navarro
A Second Chance At LoveSingle mom Vickie Lawson is back in her Texas hometown, intent on making a better life for her children. But when her son's troubles lead childhood sweetheart Jake Torres to her door, she realizes her feelings for him never went away. Now a State Trooper, Jake vows not to be distracted by the beautiful woman who once held his heart. He's never revealed to her the secret that tore them apart. Jake fears if he does, she–and the whole town–will never forgive him. But if Vickie and Jake can untangle the past, they may have another chance at forever.
A Second Chance At Love
Single mom Vickie Lawson is back in her Texas hometown, intent on making a better life for her children. But when her son’s troubles lead childhood sweetheart Jake Torres to her door, she realizes her feelings for him never went away. Now a State Trooper, Jake vows not to be distracted by the beautiful woman who once held his heart. He’s never revealed to her the secret that tore them apart. Jake fears if he does, she—and the whole town—will never forgive him. But if Vickie and Jake can untangle the past, they may have another chance at forever.
“Jake, it’s our song!”
His brows shot up in a question. “I didn’t know we had a song.”
Hands on her hips, she shook her head at his cluelessness. “As chair of the prom committee, I selected the song for the king-and-queen dance. I knew we had received the most votes.” A sad smile formed. “I picked it for us.”
His forehead wrinkled. “You danced it with Tommy.”
“’Cause you never showed up.” She pointed the spatula at him. “You had the most votes. You were voted king. Because you weren’t there I had to dance with Tommy.”
She felt the warmth of his presence as he moved closer to her. He stopped two steps away from where she stood.
“We could dance it now.”
JOLENE NAVARRO
Jolene’s life, much like her stories, is filled with faith, family, football, art, laughter, dirty dishes and all of life’s wonderful messiness. She knows that, as much as the world changes, people stay the same. Good and evil. Vow-keepers and heartbreakers. Jolene married a vow-keeper who showed her that holding hands and dancing in the rain never gets old. When she’s not teaching art to energetic middle-schoolers or hanging out with her four kids, she loves creating stories of love and faith in her much-loved Texas.
Lone Star Hero
Jolene Navarro
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
You have journeyed up a steep, rugged path in recent days. The way ahead is shrouded in uncertainty. Look neither behind you nor before you. Instead, focus your attention on Me, your constant Companion. Trust that I will equip you fully for whatever awaits you on your journey.
—Psalms 143:8
To my sisters Tracye Ward and Amanda Warren—you have become amazing women and great mothers. I know our parents would be proud. Always to Fred Navarro, husband extraordinaire.
Acknowledgments (#ulink_12242c16-61d9-5adb-9641-64ace2f1f92b)
There are so many people that made my dream of being a writer become reality.
First to the gifted writers at San Antonio Romance Authors for sharing their time and talents, especially Linda Carroll-Bradd, who taught me what POV meant and how to use it.
Joni, Marilyn, Sasha and Storm, thank you for listening and reading.
To Jodi Thomas and Alexandra Sokolof, two of the most talented and giving people I know.
To the best agent ever, Pam Hopkins.
To the remarkable Emily Rodmell, thank you for giving me the opportunity to share Clear Water, Texas, with the world. My stories are better because of your insight and knowledge.
Contents
Cover (#ubee80fe8-5203-5bc2-bf50-cbe4acf349b3)
Back Cover Text (#u41339f80-be85-5d30-9b09-86f381f7d662)
Introduction (#u6a5ea830-a56e-599a-b4d4-818b1b84d400)
About the Author (#u305d586a-c147-5a40-aeba-07d4bae54522)
Title Page (#uf35af5be-2bde-54f6-bbe6-faa2cb40dd57)
Bible Verse (#u624c31a8-93ff-5efe-bdee-83f9d6ca4d28)
Dedication (#ua5fbd1e0-4717-5a06-a5c2-e633745d38de)
Acknowledgments (#ulink_f06be25d-a6de-5f23-8a6e-8825b8109566)
Chapter One (#ulink_17e9a745-c78f-5acf-b8fd-7388a8a15874)
Chapter Two (#ulink_c72f52a6-17f5-57f4-b52a-256f15b9743d)
Chapter Three (#ulink_ecb5a816-6297-5194-96bc-ee7678142316)
Chapter Four (#ulink_a4ed67cc-93ec-509c-94ee-8b15d538f248)
Chapter Five (#ulink_8e35a48b-599b-5f37-9912-aeb049c4392a)
Chapter Six (#ulink_c0a6991a-91c8-568a-8887-aec4b0381507)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eighteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nineteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-One (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Two (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Three (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Dear Reader (#litres_trial_promo)
Questions for Discussion (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#ulink_e02b7b43-547a-53d3-a8b5-abd60a0f5460)
The blue and red lights flashed. Polished cowboy boots stepped out of the looming SUV. Each step stirred pale dust into the dry air. She didn’t need to look at his face to know who had pulled her over. Ever since her return to Clear Water, Texas, she had done her best to avoid this state trooper.
Jake Torres made it too easy to doubt her resolve to be independent. After a disastrous marriage with one hometown boy, she couldn’t contemplate a relationship with another, even if he had been her best friend once upon a time.
Now her ex-friend was going to give her a ticket on Valentine’s Day. Great. Another memento to add to this wonderful day.
Turning away from the rearview mirror, she glanced at the box of pink penguin cupcakes. They had taken her twice as long to decorate as she’d planned.
“Mom! We’re going to be late!” Ashley, her seven-year-old daughter, cried from the backseat.
She closed her eyes for a moment to control the burning acid in her stomach.
More money gone. She didn’t even have enough to buy her daughter the lollipop Valentine cards she wanted. With a quick check in the mirror, she noticed Ashley going through the handmade cards. A weak smile eased some of the tension as she thought of the fun they’d had while cutting and gluing scrap pieces of construction paper. Even Seth, her preteen son, had made a couple of glittery masterpieces.
An unwanted memory surfaced. The sparkly red heart she had created as an eleven-year-old. She could see Jake’s fingers take the Valentine card made just for him. She’d held her breath watching him read the question she had so carefully printed. Looking up at her, he had smiled and laughed at her. “Vickie, you’re crazy.”
“Vickie?” A baritone voice of the grown version of her childhood crush brought her back to the present. He now stood in his state trooper uniform and looked at her as if he still doubted her sanity.
“Officer Torres.” She replied in her most professional voice.
He leaned in a bit and looked past her. “Hi, Ashley. You’re looking pretty today.”
“Thank you. We’re going to the horse club’s Valentine’s party.”
He smiled and nodded before looking back at her. Well, she assumed he looked at her. With the dark aviators, all she saw was her own reflection. Not pretty.
“License and insurance?”
She handed him the documents. He always looked so good in cowboy hats. She made sure not to gaze at him. Instead, she focused on the empty country road stretched out in front of her. The outline of the hills surrounding them hid any sign of civilization.
A silver truck sped by and honked. Vickie scooted farther down in her seat and looked to her right. The Black Angus heifers went on with their eating. Her father’s cattle couldn’t care less about her problems.
“How is Seth doing?” Jake pulled her attention back to him.
Her knuckles went white around her worn and cracked steering wheel. Just two months ago, her son snuck out, making plans to run away and ended up in the shallow river in the dark. Her heart still stopped whenever she thought how close she came to losing her son. The image of his still form loaded into the ambulance burned forever in her mind.
“Last week the doctor released him for all regular activities. He’s a hundred percent recovered, physically anyway.” She took a breath and looked up. “Thank you for being there, for searching for him and helping me hold it together.” It had been the worst night of her life, and Jake had stayed by her side until they found Seth. He drove her to the ambulance and helped her stay calm when it felt as if she was going to fall to pieces.
He paused and brought his face back to her. “I’m glad I was there. Vickie, you know if you ever need anything you can call me.”
Yeah, that was Jake, everyone’s hero. Giving her a speeding ticket, probably for her own good. “You wouldn’t consider just giving me a warning, would you?” She tried to smile, but visions of her measly savings dwindling even further made it difficult.
“The sun’s almost down. It’s hard to see deer, and in your small car that can be dangerous. Just the other day...” His voice dropped off as he looked back to his new handheld scanner. “Um...Vickie?”
That didn’t sound good. “Yes?”
“Are you aware you have a warrant out for your arrest?”
“What?” Her voice squeaked as it caught in her throat. “Oh, no! I had a ticket somewhere in East Texas. I didn’t...oh, then Tommy and Seth...” She covered her face with her cold, clammy hands. You will not cry, Victoria Maria Lawson. You will not cry.
“Mommy?”
“Vickie, take a breath. It’s okay. You have a way to pay it, right? You can ask your father.” He took the dark shades off. “As soon as you pay it in full they’ll remove the warrant.”
“I’m not asking Daddy. I just forgot about it.” Did she have enough in her savings? Was she ever going to get to the point where she put more in than she withdrew? She looked in the rearview mirror. Ashley’s big eyes were even wider. “It’s okay, sweetheart.” She glanced up at Jake. “I have Ash...”
“Vickie. I don’t want to arrest you, but you have to pay it. Call your dad. He’ll help you.”
“I have the money. I’m not asking Daddy to save me. I completely forgot... How could I...?” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. How did she let this happen? With Seth’s near-death excursion and Tommy getting remarried she just...
“Mommy, are we still going to the horse club meeting?”
Oh, Ashley. “I don...”
“Vickie, take her to the party.” He lowered his chin and stared at her a moment before speaking again. “I’ll follow. Ashley can go into the exhibit hall and you can take care of the ticket over the phone.”
His thoughts were hidden behind the depth of his dark eyes. The intense gaze made her want to hide.
“Take it slow. Being late is not the worst thing that can happen.” He glanced down. “You need new tires. These are bald, and your inspection sticker needs to be renewed.” He took a step back.
She managed to nod. “Thank you. I can pay it. I just forgot.” He didn’t get it. She grew up relying on her parents then Tommy. She refused to ask them for help. She had to do this on her own.
She turned the key. Click... Click. No! She tried again. Nothing. Come on. Please start.
One more try. The engine started. Yes! So much for a grand exit. It didn’t purr, not like the Mercedes she drove just two years ago. She reminded herself to be grateful for a car she bought with her own money. Pulling back onto the country road, she headed to the arena on the edge of town.
* * *
Back in the SUV, Jake turned off the flashing light. With a heavy sigh, he started the engine.
He spent years ignored by Vickie. He should be used to it by now. Nevertheless, seeing her so battered by life hurt him in a way he suspected he’d never get over.
After checking the empty road for traffic, he pulled out to follow her. He’d pay the ticket himself if it would keep him from having to arrest her. He imagined she’d never forgive him for putting her in jail in front of her daughter.
Vickie would never forgive him for helping her, either. Describing her as stubborn was like calling the Texas sun in August a little warm.
Just a couple of months ago her son had been airlifted to San Antonio after almost drowning. He thought they had connected that night and she would be more open to reviving their old friendship.
Going by the Mercantile where she worked, he tried talking to her, but she managed to be in the back of the store whenever he stopped by.
Vickie made it clear that he had no place in her life.
He finally got to see her face-to-face, only to have to threaten to arrest her. Not the impression he wanted to make.
Easing into the parking spot next to Vickie’s small vehicle, Jake put the Explorer in park in front of the sixty-year-old county building. The windows of the wood exhibit hall shimmered with pink and red metallic ribbons.
A couple of faces appeared through the streamers followed quickly by three girls rushing outside. “Ashley! Where have you been? You volunteered to decorate.”
The oldest one, Rachel Levi, the pastor’s daughter, stopped at the edge of the concrete slab and looked at Vickie instead of the younger girls. “Mrs. Lawson, is Seth with you?”
“No, sweetheart, he’s with his grandfather.” Vickie reached over and pulled the cupcakes out.
Ashley stood with her box of cards. “He’s grounded. But he made a card for you.”
“Really?” A smile lit up her face. The preteen turned to Vickie. “He’s still grounded because we snuck out?”
“No, Rachel, he has a whole new set of reasons.”
Her lips drawn, the girl looked uncomfortable. She had been with Seth the night he ran away and had pulled his unconscious body out of the river.
“Is your father here tonight?” Vickie asked.
Rachel nodded. “Daddy still doesn’t allow me anywhere without him.”
Jake looked at his watch. If Vickie was going to get her fines paid today, she needed to make those calls before the office closed.
He moved forward to take the cupcakes from her. “Come on, girls, let’s get these inside. Ms. Lawson has some calls to make before the party starts.”
Ashley and Celeste, Rachel’s little sister, skipped to his side, holding hands. “Celeste, my mom made penguin cupcakes,” Ashley said.
Rachel went in, shoulders slumped, but the other girls hopped around him.
“Oh, Ashley, these are the cutest cupcakes ever.” Mia De La Cruz, one of Ashley’s friends, held the door open for them.
At the far end of the room, women were setting the tables with food and drinks. He knew everyone. To his left Pastor John and Adrian De La Cruz kicked balloons out of their way as they walked toward him.
Adrian, a carpenter and roper Jake hung out with, slapped him on the back. “So you giving Ms. Lawson and her cupcakes a police escort?”
He smiled. “Looks that way, doesn’t it? So where do these guys go?”
“I’ll take them, Officer Torres.” Rachel took the box from him and headed across the open floor.
Tables covered in more pink and red lined the walls. They left the center open for games and dancing. He spent many nights in his youth at the 4-H meetings and parties with Adrian and Vickie. “So now you’re one of the 4-H parents?”
Adrian laughed. “That’s me, dad of the Valentine’s party. Happens a lot faster than you realize. Are you staying to help?”
“No, I just followed Vickie. I’m heading out, still on duty.”
“Daddy!” Mia, Adrian’s ten-year-old daughter, ran toward them. “Ms. Ortega is looking for the oranges and Hula-Hoops. Did you bring them in?”
“Yeah, I’ve got ’em.” With another slap on Jake’s back, Adrian followed his daughter to the group of mothers.
John gave him a quick goodbye and headed to his daughters.
Jake used to wonder what it would be like to have his own family. One part of him loved the thought of being the dad that helped at the 4-H events and rodeos, watching his own kids participate and compete. The other part knew he had no business being anyone’s father or husband. The knowledge didn’t seem to stop him from dreaming, though.
Vickie peeked around the door, scanning the area until she spotted him. She waved him over then disappeared outside.
For some insane reason, he smiled as he followed her through the door. Tomorrow she’d go back to ignoring him, but for now he had her full attention.
Chapter Two (#ulink_d79abeb9-7cc2-5e2d-8b7b-65624b0bd487)
Vickie stood at her backyard fire pit alone, watching the dancing flames, the day finally over. She’d paid her ticket and left the party as soon as she could. Tomorrow would have been her thirteenth wedding anniversary. With the ugly emotions surfacing, it was a good thing Ashley went home with Mia, and Seth had stayed the night at her parents’ house.
She had not had a second to herself in two months and tonight she needed some alone time. A fitting end to her worst Valentine’s Day ever.
Well, maybe not the worst. Three years ago today, she found out her husband had been involved with his campaign manager, a woman she trusted. A woman that had sat at her dinner table and played with her kids. An anniversary gift she’d never forget.
She had worked so hard at being the good wife to a man that didn’t care about being a good husband or father. It was all about image for Tommy.
Dousing the fire pit with diesel, Vickie watched the flames dance high into the Texas night sky. Hands on her hips, she looked up, following the tongues of orange as they curled and danced toward the stars.
For a moment, she focused on the silhouetted hills surrounding her father’s ranch. She grew up counting the trees along the riverbank. Their smell always gave her comfort, but not tonight.
Tonight she needed to do something to purge the remaining traces of bitterness and feeling of helplessness. Maybe a good cry. She snorted. Her mother would disapprove.
Crying didn’t solve anything, just made a person look weak. Opening the elaborate cover of her wedding album, she looked at the engagement picture. That girl looked like a stranger to her now. She was made up in the image of her mother.
Tommy smiled at the camera, one arm wrapped around her waist. Her hand flat against his shirt, showing off the large diamond. She tossed the grinning groom into the blaze and stared as his face distorted before vanishing into ashes.
She couldn’t think of one single day in the last two years she had even missed Tommy and his hypercritical demands. Finding out about the other woman was her breaking point. He blamed her, telling her he couldn’t love her.
Being a wife and mother was all she ever wanted. She didn’t seem to be winning in that department, either. She rolled her head back and closed her tired eyes.
A grown woman with an eleven-year-old son and seven-year-old daughter to raise and not a marketable skill in sight.
Her mother lectured her for the past twelve years about being the good wife, even after the divorce. People in her family did not get divorced.
Against all evidence, Elizabeth Lawson hung on to the dream that Tommy would come back and beg her forgiveness, becoming the model family man. Vickie knew it was beyond over. She failed at marriage and had messed up the perfect family history. Her mother would have to find a way to deal.
The one thing she would not be, could not be, was a failure at being a mom. Her kids needed her more than ever since Tommy’s disappearing act.
She tore out another photo, her mother fussing over the intricate pile of hair the hairdresser had created around the bridal veil. Miles of perfectly preserved white lace and tiny beaded pearls surrounded Vickie along with all her mother’s plans and expectations.
Seth needed her to be strong. She knew the divorce and his father’s abandonment hurt him beyond words.
Flipping the heavy page, she ripped out another photo. Into the fire the kiss went. Running down the steps of the church...gone.
The three-foot wedding cake...history.
The breeze blew smoke into her face. Vickie’s chest and throat started to burn as tears finally escaped, one after another. Her eyesight blurred as she watched each picture vanish in the multicolored inferno.
Headlights made their way down the long drive. She gritted her teeth. Why couldn’t her mother just leave her alone in her misery? Using the bottom of her oversize T-shirt, Vickie wiped her face.
The car door opened and closed.
“Vickie?” A strong, masculine voice surprised her. She hung her head. Much worse than her mother, the ex-best friend that almost arrested her today. Officer Jake Torres.
“I could see the flames from the highway. You know the county is in the middle of a burn ban.” He walked straight toward her.
She pretended not to notice his wide shoulders or powerful legs. He was a walking cliché of a Texas Ranger. “Officer Torres, I would think you had better things to do than bother women—” A leftover sob escaped her chest. She swallowed it back down “—on their own property. Is this an arrestable offense also?”
He sat on his heels, hunched next to her as he picked up a picture that had fallen in the dirt. “Wedding pictures?”
She stared at the fire, hoping he would leave. She didn’t want to share her humiliation with anyone, especially her childhood crush. Every girl at school had giggled whenever Jake walked by. He had been her best friend but completely out of reach.
He thrust his chin to the box at her feet. “In honor of your anniversary?”
She turned to him in shock. “You remembered my wedding date? Tommy never did.” She should look away. Please, just go away before I start to think I could rely on you. “You weren’t even there.”
This time he broke eye contact first. “Yeah, I...um... I had to be somewhere else.”
Why didn’t you take me with you? “You had to run off and save the world.”
He reached out and touched her arm. His dark hand stood in contrast to her pale skin.
“Vickie, are you all right? Has Tommy done something?” She jerked her arm back. Don’t let him think you need a friend, Victoria Maria. She turned her face away from him and focused on the fire. “I’m fine. This is not about Tommy. He’s in Florida planning his new future, and I’m here with the kids. That’s all I need.” Please leave before I do something stupid like cry in front of you.
He pulled his hand back and stood. “You’re a good mother. Listen, I know you’ve had a couple of rough years, but you have people that are here for you if you need anything.”
The problem with that was she needed to learn to take care of herself. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she focused on the popping of the fire. Maybe if she ignored him, he’d go away.
* * *
Looking around, he spotted the green water hose, neatly curled up like a snake. With a turn of the old knob, he had the water running full blast. Stretching the hose from the old barn to the pit, he started smothering the flames. Jake scanned the area for any wayward embers.
Vickie burst from her chair almost eye to eye with him, even barefoot. He always liked her height. He frowned. Was that the problem? His mother was always trying to match him up with short women.
“Hey! That’s my fire. Just because you wear a uniform now doesn’t mean you...”
“Victoria, it’s so dry, the smallest spark could turn your father’s ranch into an inferno.”
Standing, she crossed her arms over her chest and glowered at him.
He smiled.
The hostility in her glare was so much better than the defeated look he saw earlier.
With a deep sigh, she looked away and ran her fingers through her dark blond mane. “I’m sorry.”
Tonight her hair hung loose, looking wild as the flames reflected off the long strands. He loved it down. Most of the time, she kept it styled and starched. He had to lean in a bit to hear what she muttered.
“I don’t know why I say the things I do. It just pops in my head and out of my mouth.” She turned her face back to him. Her eyelashes glistened with moisture. “I’m so tired of fighting. Seth and I had another argument earlier today.”
Jake concentrated on putting out the flames. He could control this fire for her. He had no idea how to help her with the rest of her life. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Talk to him, explain what’s going on. Believe me, sons are very forgiving of their mothers.”
He shoveled some dirt from the nearby mound into the pit. The last of the flames died out, separating them with a column of thick smoke.
She flopped back down in the camping chair. “I’m sure he’d be much happier without me as his mother.” She closed her eyes. “I can’t blame him. I don’t want to be around me, either.”
“Seth loves you. He’s just angry and confused right now. Give him some time.” He coiled the hose. Standing a good ten feet away, he could still see her shivering as she huddled into a ball.
With the fire out, all the heat vanished, leaving the cold breeze and smoke between them.
He didn’t want to leave, but he had to get going.
A few steps and he was next to her. He slipped off his jacket and laid it over her thin T-shirt. Sitting on his heels next to the camouflaged chair, his hand resting on the canvas arm, as close to her as possible without touching, he said, “Listen, Vickie, I know it’s been a tough couple of years, but life will get better.”
“Thanks.” Her tight-lipped answer gave him the first clue that their friendly discussion had ended about as fast as it had started.
He stood. “Call me if you need anything.” Like the hardheaded idiot he was, he waited. After a few extensive minutes loaded with nothing but his own breathing, Jake stepped back. “Good night, Victoria.” Another pause, just to make sure she had nothing else to say.
With a locked jaw, he walked to his patrol car. He forced himself to look straight ahead, no turning back, not one glance over his shoulder. No, she had made it clear over the years she didn’t need him. So why did he think tonight would be any different?
* * *
Vickie watched as each step took Jake farther away from her. She bit her lip as her fingernails cut into her palms. The urge to call him ripped at her throat. He slipped into his black SUV and reversed out of her drive. A new type of sadness wrapped itself around her heart. She hadn’t felt so alone with him next to her.
Thick smoke rose from the fire pit. She wanted to throw her whole album into the now-soggy, mud-filled hole, but it was a part of her children’s history. A part of her history—the good, bad and ugly.
Instead of dwelling on old hurts, she knew her time would be better spent focusing on the good and reading her Bible. Two months ago, holding her unconscious son’s cold hand, she prayed for God’s forgiveness, wise words and a new heart.
She had released the bitterness and anger; now she needed to put that new life into action. So many people deserved apologies from her. Where did she start?
* * *
Vickie walked back into her little single-wide trailer. For a second the thin walls of the narrow trailer closed in on her. It had been their temporary home for almost two years now. A stark difference to the three-thousand-square-foot home they had in San Antonio.
That life was gone, along with the money and the delusion of a happy ever after.
Snuggling deeper into the sturdy jacket, Jake’s warmth and scent surrounded her—outdoors and leather.
On the faux-wood coffee table sat the Bible her father handed her when she signed the divorce papers. All he ever said about the whole mess was, “Stay focused on your faith. The Lord has you.”
Why didn’t God give her a man of faith like her dad?
She let the pages fall open. She had marked Jeremiah 16:19 on the night she sat in the waiting room when her son had almost died. “�The Lord is my strength and my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.’” Her soft words helped fill the emptiness.
Jake had given her that verse on the way to the ambulance. God would be her refuge. She moved to the last door in the tiny hall. Her son was hurting. She grew up with two sisters and had no idea how to deal with an eleven-year-old boy that wanted his father.
He’d gotten so angry when she told him he wouldn’t be going to Tommy’s wedding. He blamed her for everything, the divorce, his father’s leaving, his trouble with Rachel.
She protected the children from the worst of the betrayals, but she was losing her son.
Tommy wanted to focus on his new bride without the kids around. Her fingers gripped the edges of the cherished Bible. Of course, he made her tell the kids.
Leaning her forehead against the handmade warning sign taped to his door, she softly prayed. “God, please lift me up to be the kind of mother my children need. Cover Seth and Ashley in your love.”
The trailer filled with heavy silence. She laid a hand against the plastic trim to support her now-weak legs. “I love Seth and Ashley so much. Thank you for the gift of being their mother.” She waited for a heartbeat...two... “Help me use the right words with them to heal any hurts.”
The phone rang. Instead of answering, she moved to the freezer and pulled out the vanilla ice cream.
“Victoria Maria, it’s your mother.” Her mother’s sweet Texas drawl was leftover from her Dallas debutante days.
She was getting better at ignoring it.
“I need to talk to you about Seth.” Her mother continued. “I know you’re in that trailer.”
Vickie could hear the disgust in her mother’s tone. Each time she came to the house, her mother looked around the room as if she had found a roach running across the toes of her high-heeled shoes. Vickie closed her eyes and waited.
“Victoria Maria Miller, pick up.”
Elizabeth Marie Lawson never screamed, shouted or yelled, but she had a voice of steel and she expected to be obeyed.
With a heavy sigh, Vickie picked up the landline with one hand and used the other to fill her mouth with ice cream.
She knew it was a petty form of rebellion, but it felt good to answer while still chewing.
“Mother, I’m not his wife anymore....” She made sure to swallow loudly, “and I’m back to Lawson.”
“Are you eating while talking to me?”
Vickie put the spoon in the sink. “Sorry, Mama.”
“Sweetheart, I’m not sure if going back to Lawson is the best thing for the children. They should have the same last name as their mother. I think it is upsetting Seth.”
“Mom, everything upsets Seth.” She wanted to curl up in bed, pull the blankets over her head and not listen to her mother’s lecture. “Mom, it’s been a really long day. Is Seth okay? Do I need to pick him up?”
“No, no. I think it’s good for him to be around his grandfather. He needs a strong man of faith in his life. We were praying for his father, and Seth said you won’t talk to Tommy when he calls.”
“Mom, Tommy is getting married in less than a week.” She hung her head and rubbed her forehead. “Please don’t encourage Seth in the idea his father is coming back.”
On the counter, her cell phone started vibrating.
“Victoria, he should...”
“Sorry to cut you off, Mom, but Lorrie Ann is on my cell. I should take it.”
“Oh, I hope everything is okay. Why would she be calling you?”
“I don’t know. Love you, bye.” With a flip of her thumb, she received the call while hanging up on her mother.
“Lorrie Ann?” She couldn’t image why Pastor Levi’s fiancée was calling her. Slight nausea rolled her stomach. In Vickie’s darkest moments, she delivered some of her ugliest words straight at Lorrie Ann. Bitterness, jealously and anger filled her thoughts just two months ago. Embarrassment made her want to disconnect the call.
“Hi, Vickie. Sorry to be calling late, but I was organizing my weekly schedule. I have a couple of ideas I would love to talk to you about. Could I come over Friday night? It’s about the wedding and the youth program.” She laughed. “Right now it seems everything in my life is about the wedding. Would seven o’clock work for you? Oh, sorry. I’m being a little pushy. Between Aunt Maggie, my mom and Yolanda, not to mention every woman in the church who sees John as their adopted son, I’m going a little crazy.”
“Um...no problem. You can come over.” Vickie had no idea what to say. “You’re always welcome here, and I owe you so much. Whatever you need, sign me up.”
“Be careful what you say. I will hold you to it. See you Friday, and please have an open mind. Bye.”
Vickie ended the call and sat there on the tall stool, looking at the phone. Twelve years ago, she had been jealous of Lorrie Ann and Jake’s friendship, and pulled the mean-girl trick. She started lies about the girl she considered a rival. Hurtful, horrible lies and when they grew, she remained silent. She didn’t do any better when Lorrie Ann came back to town over three months ago. Her eyes started to burn.
Somehow she was the girl everyone hated, but they were too afraid to say anything to her. The idea of someone treating her children like that tore at her heart.
She took a deep breath. Take the good in. She exhaled, pushing her lungs until they burned. Forcing all the bad out. “God, thank You for this opportunity to make it right.”
Chapter Three (#ulink_d5a53e58-6e29-5778-a9eb-f7edd45e2513)
Friday arrived too soon. Tonight Lorrie Ann Ortega would be in Vickie’s trailer. She swallowed down the butterflies that fluttered up from her stomach. Maybe she should call her and meet somewhere in town. No, doing this in public might even be worse.
Vickie practiced her apology, but it never sounded right. Putting away the clean dishes in the cabinet, she checked the small living room to make sure it was as clean and neat as she could get it. Jake’s sturdy jacket lay over the back of one of the ladder-backed chairs. Picking it up, she ran her hand over the brown fabric.
Maybe she should take it to him. Vickie imagined showing up at his house. Would he welcome her or ask her to leave?
Okay, now she was overanalyzing returning a jacket. As she hung the coat in the hall closet, she heard a vehicle pull up to her drive.
Checking her clock, she figured it was Adrian. He had volunteered to pick up Ashley and take her to the regular horse club meeting.
Her daughter stomped from the tiny hallway. “Mom, my boots hurt my feet.”
She hunched down in front of Ashley and checked the toes of the red boots. She sighed. Sure enough, the little toes pushed against the rounded end of the boots. She did a quick calculation of her next paycheck versus bills to be paid. Well, there went the last bit of her savings. “Sweetheart, they’re too small for you. You’re going to have to wear your tennis shoes until we can get you some more.”
“I can just curl my toes.” She looked down, her hair covering her face. “See. It doesn’t hurt.”
“Oh, baby, you can’t wear shoes too small. You’re not riding tonight, so go get your tennis shoes.”
As Ashley stomped back to her room, she heard a knock. Opening the door, she greeted Adrian. Vickie glanced over his shoulder where his truck idled.
Mia waved from the backseat of the black truck. A large horse trailer with two horses inside filled her driveway.
“Oh, no, I thought tonight was just a meeting. I’m sorry, Adrian. I could’ve asked my dad to take her and one of his horses.” Ashley was going to be so upset.
Adrian smiled. “No worries. We single parents have to stick together.” He winked at her.
Vickie glanced to the side, not sure how to respond. Did Adrian just wink at her? He was younger than she was by a couple of years. Not knowing what to say she just stood there in silence.
He pointed to the silver trailer. “I have Cinnamon. She’s old but refuses to be left behind. Ashley can ride her. Jake offered to go over some basic horse safety guidelines with the kids, and we thought it would be fun if they all actually had a horse. Hands-on learning.”
Ashley came to the door. “Hi, Mr. De La Cruz. Is Mia with you? Oh, you have horses.” Bright eyes filled with worry looked up at Vickie. “Mommy, you said we weren’t riding. I need my boots.”
Vickie glanced at Adrian and gave him a weak smile. “It seems like overnight they got too small for her.” She pulled Ashley against her side. “Sweetheart, it’s okay.”
He pointed to the horse trailer. “I’m sure we have some of Mia’s old boots in the dressing room.” He gave them a lopsided grin. “I’m not the best at cleaning out the old stuff, and Mia seems to grow faster than a newborn colt, too. We probably have some you can borrow.”
Vickie hated charity of any kind. “Are you sure? It would just be for tonight.”
“Hey, you would be helping me out.” He looked at Ashley. “You ready?”
With a nod, she hugged Vickie. “Love you, Mommy.”
“Be careful.” Vickie’s words landed on departing backs. As they climbed into the huge truck, a Jeep Cherokee approached the trailer. Vickie didn’t recognize the SUV. Adrian honked as he drove past the Jeep.
Lorrie Ann got out of the vehicle and went to the backseat. A knot formed in Vickie’s stomach. She had thrown some hateful words at Lorrie Ann over the years, first in high school then even worse a few months back when Lorrie Ann had returned to town.
As a grown woman, she had no excuse for such behavior. Jealousy created some ugly side effects. If she really wanted to be a better person, God was giving her a great opportunity to make it right and start on her list of apologies.
She would start right here with Lorrie Ann. Tomorrow she could move on to Jake then maybe find a way to ask for forgiveness from the whole town of Clear Water.
She started down the steps. “Hi, Lorrie Ann. What happened to your BMW?”
Lorrie Ann opened the back door and leaned in. “Traded it in for something more practical.”
“Do you need any help?” Vickie asked.
Lorrie Ann came out from behind the door with a bag. “That would be great. Here’s some samples of materials. Aunt Maggie and Rachel made the dinner for y’all. It’s a casserole so you can put it in the fridge and use it anytime you need a quick meal. Celeste and I made the cookies.” She went back into the Jeep for the aluminum trays. Turning to Vickie, she had a big grin on her face. “Rachel also made a card and note. She wanted to make sure Seth got those. She missed him at the party.”
Oh, great, she’d hoped they had put an end to the budding romance between her son and Pastor John’s daughter. “Is her father okay with it?”
“Oh, he’ll be fine. The note is very sweet and innocent. I think they’re friends more than anything else.” Lorrie Ann shrugged.
Vickie had fallen in love with Jake Torres when she was just ten but had been too afraid of her mother to let anyone know. Looking back, she realized it had probably been that secret that made her so mean to any girl brave enough to talk with Jake. Lies and fear had a way of festering.
“Are you ready to talk wedding?”
Vickie nodded and led Lorrie Ann into her trailer. Placing the items on the kitchen counter, Vickie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. A minute to relax the knot in her gut and let the bad out. “Lorrie Ann, I can’t thank you enough for all you have done for me and Seth. You really didn’t have to do this.”
“Oh, I have alternative motives. Consider it a peace offering and bribe all rolled up into one.”
“A peace offering? For what? I’m the one that owes you an apology and a huge thank-you for saving my son’s life.”
“I’m so glad I was there and could help. How is Seth doing?”
“Dr. Adams released him for all activities.” Now, Vickie. Speak up now. “Can I get you some tea or lemonade?”
Lorrie Ann sat on the bar stool. “Lemonade would be great. Vickie, I need to ask a huge favor from you.”
Pulling two of the best glasses from the cabinet, surprise derailed Vickie’s thoughts for a moment. “Umm... You need something from me? Okay, just tell me what it is and I’ll do it.”
Lorrie Ann laughed. “I haven’t even asked you yet.”
As she filled the glasses with ice, Vickie struggled with the right words. “I owe you. Not only for finding Seth and knowing CPR, which I could never repay, but also for all the hateful rumors I started and the names I called you.” She still had her back to Lorrie Ann as she poured the lemonade.
On a deep breath, she turned and slid the full glass across the counter. She looked Lorrie Ann in the eyes. The stunning gray and green swirls were even more beautiful because of the sweet compassion Vickie found in them. “I know it’s old history and way too late, but I need to apologize for all the nasty rumors I started in high school. I was so jealous of the friendship you had with Jake. I wanted to hurt you. It was wrong of me.” There. She did it and the world still moved in the right direction. “You left town because of me. I’m so sorry.”
Lorrie Ann reached across the old, stained linoleum and laid her hands over Vickie’s, forcing them to be still. “Thank you. I had my own issues, too. John told me not long ago that the choices and mistakes of our past don’t have to shape our future, but they can be used to help others.” She sat back and took a drink of her lemonade. “The part I didn’t understand was why you were jealous. Back then, Jake only had eyes for you. Everyone knew that.”
Vickie looked at her glass before taking her own sip. For a moment, she allowed the sweet, sour taste to fill her senses. She glanced out the window to the barn. “I was so in love with him, but I feared my mother’s disapproval even more.” With a weak grin, she looked back at Lorrie Ann. “My mom had a plan for me and it did not include the maid’s son.” She started wiping the counter. “Complete coward would be a good description of me. I owe you even a larger apology for my behavior when you returned to town. I was a bitter shrew, and as a grown woman, there was no excuse for my actions. I don’t have any adequate words to tell you how sorry I am. So yes, I vow, whatever you need from me is yours.”
“Well, you might regret that promise.” Lorrie Ann leaned in closer and smiled. “I want to hire you to make my bridesmaids’ dresses and two mother-of-the-bride dresses. One for Aunt Maggie and one for my mother, along with dresses for Rachel and Celeste. I would also love to work with you to design my wedding dress. And if you survive that, John’s house is in major need of drapes, curtains and throw pillows.”
Vickie didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t get her mouth to move.
Lorrie Ann took another drink before patting Vickie’s hand. “Are you okay?”
“I lied about you and tried to run you out of town and you want me to make the dresses for your wedding?”
“You’ve apologized and I’m tired of holding grudges. Anyway, one of the things I learned in L.A. was business above personal feelings. You, Vickie, are the most amazing and talented seamstress I have ever seen. I also wanted to talk to you about helping out with the youth program. John, Jake and Rhody have a strong program for the boys, but I was thinking about other activities we could offer, sewing maybe, or some sort of arts or crafts. What do you think?”
Truly humbled by Lorrie Ann’s acceptance, Vickie bit back the urge to cry. “I would love to help at the church. And I’ll give you a discount for the dresses.”
“Don’t you dare. I’ll pay you half as a down payment on Monday. You’re going to earn every penny just dealing with my family.” Lorrie Ann stood. “Thank you so much for the lemonade. And the apology. I really appreciate it.” She leaned in and wiggled her eyebrows. “We might be related someday if Seth and Rachel turn into real sweethearts. Don’t you tell John I said that. He would have a heart attack. I’ll see you later, Vickie. Maybe Sunday we can talk to John about ideas for the youth program.”
Vickie led her to the door and waved as she watched her disappear through the gate. God does work in mysterious ways. In a million years, she would have never dreamed she’d be making the dresses for Lorrie Ann’s wedding. She also had money to buy Ashley the new boots she needed. Tomorrow she would take Jake’s jacket to him. Would she find another friend in Jake or was it too late?
Chapter Four (#ulink_0b3aa8a0-c7d4-52e4-87a8-c49a0dbb778d)
Putting her car in Park, Vickie looked at the surrounding area. Jake had bought a beautiful piece of land to build his home.
Reaching over to the passenger’s seat, Vickie gripped the sturdy jacket in her hands and stared at his two-story cabin. With the last rays of sun slipping over the hills, the richness of the wood called to her, begging her to come closer. Why did she sit out here hiding in her car, unsure?
Because she let her mother’s words re-create all the self-doubt she’d been fighting. No more. She had a new life, a new purpose and needed some old friends. She could be just friends with Jake. She could.
With determination, she stepped out of her car and moved up the gravel walkway to the deep wraparound porch. Her hand caressed the smooth railing as she climbed the wide steps. The huge glass door sparkled from the waning light.
“I can take the jacket.”
The female voice from deep in the porch caused her to jump. Placing her hand flat against her racing heart, Vickie turned to face Maria Torres, Jake’s mother.
“I didn’t see you there.” Vickie moved to the swing at the end of the porch.
“There’s no reason for you to go inside.” Maria closed her Bible and set it to the side. The slight Spanish accent softened her words. “I can make sure he gets it. Just lay it there in the rocking chair.”
“I...would like to thank him for helping me the other night.” Vickie looked back to the door. Maybe she had made a mistake. Trying to recapture some youthful fantasy that had never even been real wasn’t a good idea.
Maria’s eyebrows went up. “Yes, Jake is very good at helping people. I hear Seth has fully recovered. I’ve been praying for him.” Maria folded her hands in her lap and gently swung, the chains creaking over the wood.
“Thank you for your prayers. I know they helped. The doctors said he was very fortunate.”
“Our children are our most precious gifts from God. We must protect them. Right? As mothers we understand the big picture.”
Vickie didn’t like where this was going. “Right. But as they grow up, we have to allow them to make their own choices.”
“True. Let me speak honest with you, Mrs. Miller.” She smoothed out her blouse, her accent thicker now. “You have hurt Jake in the past, a hurt that was not easy for him to get over. I lost him once because of you. You might care for him now, but we both know you are not what he needs. Please do not pull him back into your life.”
Horrified that Maria blamed her for him leaving for the marines the day after graduation, Vickie looked down to the wood boards. She heard he had built this house with his own hands. Vickie laid the jacket on the empty rocker. “I’m no longer Miller. It’s just Lawson now.” She bit into her bottom lip and looked at the setting sun. “No disrespect, Mrs. Torres, but I was not the one who left without a word.”
“If you truly want what is best for him, you will stay away from him.”
“Mother!”
Jake’s voice startled both women.
“I’m old enough to pick my own friends.” Jake stood at the far edge of the house. The setting sun cast him in silhouette, a bridle in his hand.
How long had he been standing there?
Maria stood and headed for the door. Toting her Bible, she nodded to Vickie. “I’m going to make dinner.” Without a backward glance, she marched to the cut-glass door. With her head up, she swung the door open and glided through it. The gentle but firm click reminded Vickie that she had no right to enter Jake’s world.
Hanging the leather headset and braided reins on a hook, Jake made his way up the steps. “Sorry about that.” He sent her one of his heart-stopping grins.
She could spend hours staring at his smile. Sighing, she pulled herself back to reality. She was lying to herself; she wanted more than friendship with Jake Torres, and that could not happen.
He moved to the swing his mother had just abandoned and patted the space next to him. “As you know, mothers can get protective, no matter what age their children are.”
Shaking her head, Vickie edged toward the railing, putting more distance between them. “She has a point.”
“Come on, sit and tell me how Seth’s doing.” He leaned back, stretching his arms across the back of the seat.
His offer tempted her. She gripped the railing, keeping herself away from him. “He’s good, ready to get back to all his regular activities.”
“There’s a father-and-son flag-football game coming up at the church picnic in a couple of weeks. It’s part of our mentoring program at the church. We’ve been practicing.” He grinned. “More like an excuse to throw the ball around and have fun. I thought I could take Seth. If he’s ready, would he like that?”
“Oh, he loves football. Well, he did, anyway. The last couple of times he played with the YMCA in San Antonio were rough. Tommy had high expectations. He made Seth play quarterback.” She looked down at her feet, and followed the patterns made by the grains of wood. “Well, you know how Tommy is on the field. No room for mistakes.” She looked back at Jake. “He might not want to play anymore.”
Jake grunted and looked to the hills, the sun almost gone. “Yeah, I know Tommy. Spent way too many years on the field with him. But there’s more to football than quarterbacking.” He looked back toward her, his dark eyes intense in the last rays of light. “If you don’t mind, I’d love to take Seth and reintroduce him to the fun of football. It’s flag, so not much hitting. Is that okay with you?”
“Yeah, thank you. It’ll be good for him to be around other boys. He hasn’t made many friends since we came back.”
“You could use a friend, too. You and Ashley can join us. We could grab something to eat afterward.”
For a moment, she imagined them all together, almost like a real family. Her gaze traveled the outline of his house. If she had made the right choice in high school, this warm home and special man could’ve been hers. But she hadn’t. The reality of it hit her hard. As much as she would love to reconnect with Jake, she had to put her life back in order, starting with her kids.
Her kids were the best part of her life. The one thing she got right with Tommy.
Her baggage was too heavy to leave on Jake’s steps. Friendship with Jake sounded good, but now she knew she’d want more.
She made so many wrong choices and it was too late to change them. “Jake, your mother’s right. I’m not what you need.”
He leaned forward, elbows planted on his knees. “Why don’t you and my mother let me decide what I need?”
His intense stare seared right to her heart. She couldn’t handle that look right now. Vickie stepped back. “I’ve got to go. The kids are waiting for me at my parents’ house. Bye, Jake.” She ran to her car, clenching her teeth.
It took two tries for her car to start. She was not good at the dramatic exit. She pulled out of his drive and with one last glance into the rearview mirror, she saw Jake at the top of the steps, watching her. There wasn’t enough light to see his expression.
She needed to focus on the road in front of her. Heading back to her small trailer, Vickie fought the urge to cry for the girl that had not been strong enough to be the woman Jake needed when they were in high school.
* * *
Jake paused in the archway leading to his kitchen. He watched his mother as she lifted the lid to stir the contents of the steaming pot. The rich aroma of the carne guisada encouraged him to forget what he wanted to say. No, he wouldn’t let her cooking distract him. They needed to get some things straightened out.
“Sit, mijo, dinner’s almost done.”
So she wanted to pretend nothing had happened with Vickie. Not this time.
“Mother, I love you, but I’m a grown man. I don’t need you to pick my friends.” Standing at the sink to wash his hands, Jake looked over his backyard. The surrounding hills created a cocoon around the pasture. In the twilight, he could make out his pair of roping horses.
He had put together a life he loved. He just never found anyone to share it with, well, other than Vickie. His mind always went back to her. “You had no right to be rude to Vickie.”
“She’s not your friend. She made her choice and married Tommy Miller. And you do need help. You are almost thirty-one and not married. I should have grandchildren.” She filled two plates with the mouth-watering sauce and meat and set them on the table. Hands in her lap she waited for Jake to join her before continuing. “I remember your pain after she went with that boy to the prom.”
He tried not to roll his eyes. “That’s old history. Vickie’s divorced now. She was married to the wrong man. You should understand that better than anyone.” He dug a fork into his dinner. “If I want to pursue a relationship with Vickie, that’s my business.” He looked at his mother, pointing the meat-loaded utensil at her. “Please be nice to her.”
Across from him, she picked at her plate. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt again. You need to move on, and I need grandchildren in my old age. Your sister has run off and shows no sign of settling down.”
Jake grinned. “Amá, she didn’t run away. She’s studying to be a lawyer.”
“Yes, well, she made it clear she has no desire to get married.” She looked around the large kitchen that opened to a cozy family room. “It’s my fault. Look at this beautiful home you made. You built this home for a family, but the only kids ever here are the youth groups from the church. You deserve a family of your own.” She looked him straight in the eyes, lips firm. “I deserve grandchildren.”
“I think you might have already said that a few hundred times.” He used a warm corn tortilla to soak up the gravy on the beef tips. “There’s a side to Vickie no one gets to see.”
“Maybe you’re blind to what everyone else knows about her. She is her mother’s daughter.”
His jaw flexed. “And I’m my father’s son.”
Maria gasped and reached for his hand. “No. Oh, mijo, don’t ever say that!”
“Did you forget what I did?”
She stood, the chair toddling on back legs before settling down. “No! You will not speak of that. The fault was mine.” She picked up her Bible. “You are not your father, you’re not!”
Jake pushed away from the table and pulled his mother into his arms, hugging her short frame against his chest. “I’m sorry, amá. I shouldn’t have said anything.” He closed his eyes and buried his guilt. “I just wanted you to know the Vickie I know. The summer we moved here, well, she helped me...I don’t know, she helped me in ways I can’t explain.”
“I remember her as a sweet girl, I do, but you are from different worlds.” Her head shook against his chest before stepping away. “I was their housekeeper. It would be easier if you turned your attention to someone more like us.”
“Mother, we’ve already had this conversation.” He sighed.
“Maybe you hang on to your love for her because she’s safe?”
As the words sank in, he stared at his tiny mother. Safe, with no risk of being in a real relationship. Did he? Vickie had always kept him at a distance, no jealous rages to worry about.
His mother went to the sink and ran the washcloth under the water. “You’re a good man, Jake.” Keeping her eyes down, she started wiping the counter. “Juan always bullied—his sisters, me, even his dogs.” Her lips tight, she neatly folded the dishrag and draped it over the pewter faucet. “But enough of that nonsense.”
For a moment Jake’s brain echoed her words. She never, ever mentioned his father by name. Never spoke of him.
“Here, take this.” She slipped a blue piece of paper from her Bible and held it out until he automatically took the handwritten number. “This is Anjelica Ortega’s cell phone number. Her mother gave it to me. We know you’ll be perfect together. She needs an honorable man after losing her husband. Call her. She’s waiting to hear from you. If nothing else, it’s just a date, right? When was the last time you went out for fun?”
With a sigh, Jake took the number and slipped it into his wallet, hoping that simple action would put the discussion to rest for now.
His mother meant well. She truly believed he needed a wife and children to be happy. He had tried dating, and it never felt right.
He remembered Anjelica and Steve from school. They were younger and always together. No one had been surprised when they married a month after graduation and two months later, he went to boot camp. In less than a year, she was a war widow. That was years ago. He hadn’t seen much of her in town.
He hadn’t seen much of Vickie, either. She was always working at the Mercantile or hiding on the ranch. She had made the first step by coming to his home. But then she ran off, putting distance between them, again.
This time he would follow her. There was no reason to tell his one-track-minded mother his new plan.
He pushed his hair off his forehead and flexed his jaw. Right now, his brain needed a break from all this emotional turmoil. He didn’t want to think about Anjelica and her young soldier or Vickie and the coward she had married.
He flopped down on the overstuffed leather sofa and wrapped his fingers around his remote. He just wanted to watch some football for the next few hours. Tomorrow he would map out a plan to get to know Vickie again. Seth needed guidance, too. He knew from firsthand experience that having a bad father was worse than not having one at all. The flag football game would be a good place to undo any damage Tommy might have caused to the boy’s confidence.
Chapter Five (#ulink_5b4224fa-66b3-5b37-9635-57170d1d10e4)
Jake pulled his black Silverado to the front of Vickie’s trailer. He grinned as he leaned over the steering wheel. Who would have thought Vickie Maria Lawson would choose to live in the old worker’s house.
Two decades had passed since his mother had taken the job as the Lawsons’ housekeeper. The rent-free trailer had been one of the benefits. Coming from a tiny, one-room house in the crowded border-town of Eagle Pass, this single-wide trailer felt huge. For the first time he’d had his own room, his own bed.
Stepping out of his truck, Jake heard music blaring from the narrow trailer. The tune sounded like something from their high school days.
On the first step, the worn wood gave and dangerously shifted under his weight. That needed to be fixed. He jotted the note in his mind.
He wondered why she moved in here instead of her parents’ house. The big house, as they called it growing up, could easily fit five families.
He remembered his first trip to the big house. Looking over from his old home, he had once thought the trailer a mansion. A grin followed a chuckle. The Lawson home had awed him with the massive rooms, winding staircases and endless hallways, making him feel he had fallen down the rabbit’s hole into Alice’s Wonderland.
He remembered the moment the oldest daughter, Miss Victoria Lawson, entered the grand room. Struck dumb would be an understatement.
Until the next week, anyway, when he found her in the old barn behind his trailer, sitting in the dirt, wearing a ratty T-shirt. She was feeding three abandoned lambs, laughing as they climbed over her, fighting for the bottle she held.
He smiled. Her laughter from that day would be forever branded in his memory.
The other night he had tried to explain to his mother how Vickie had helped him. She had done so much for him that summer. She had saved him from falling into a deep, dark hole of despair.
She now lived in his old house. If he hadn’t believed before, he absolutely knew God enjoyed a sweet bit of irony.
With a deep inhale, he moved forward. They were no longer kids hiding from their mothers or teenagers trying to figure out life. Maybe this time they could get it right.
The music covered his knock. Jake could smell freshly baked cookies as he eased open her unlocked door. He would need to talk to her about that safety issue, mental note number two.
Pausing in the door frame, Jake leaned his right shoulder against the edge, crossing his arms. He couldn’t stop the smile from growing as he watched Vickie jump around while singing into a whisk. Her high ponytail swung with each movement.
Leaping to the side, her bare feet landed hard on the worn carpet, rattling the thin walls. His grin grew. She had always hated wearing shoes, much to her mother’s horror.
Vickie spun around and screamed. One hand over her chest and breathing hard, she threw the whisk at him.
Laughing, he ducked and the silver utensil went sailing out the open door.
“Jake Torres! That’s not funny. You scared me to death.”
“You left your door unlocked, but please don’t stop on my account.” Closing the door, he moved farther into her living room. He paused and surveyed the small space. “Wow, the trailer looks the same as it did when I lived here, but I don’t remember it being so small.”
Vickie walked to the counter and turned the volume down. “Yeah, well, you realize you’re, like, one hundred times bigger now?” She tried to suppress a giggle. “Back then I was taller than you.”
He savored the sound he’d been denied for so many years. “We were ten.” He tapped his knuckles on the old counter that separated the galley kitchen from the living area. “I can’t believe your dad still has this old thing with the original furniture.”
“I’m saving up my money to buy us a house. No reason to waste it on furniture when this works.”
He slowly looked over the small living space remembering when this little house had made him feel safe for the first time ever.
A family portrait of Vickie and Tommy with the kids hung on the wall giving Jake a kick in the gut and bringing him back to the present.
Vickie had moved to the other side of the Formica counter and started cleaning. “Daddy had a contract to haul it off when I first moved back.” She looked up at him with a gleam in her eye. “My mother just about had a heart attack when I announced I wanted the trailer.”
“But your dad gave it to you, anyway.”
“Of course. He offered to buy me a new house, but I wanted this one.”
“Why?” Jake couldn’t keep the skepticism out of his voice.
“Believe it or not, some of my favorite memories with my best friend happened here.”
He shot one eyebrow up and stared at her. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” She swatted him with the dishrag. “Besides, I need to know I can do this on my own. Not Daddy or Tommy, but me. I need to do this. I pay rent and everything.” Her stubborn chin lifted and she looked him in the eye.
He definitely understood wanting to prove yourself, but she might be going a bit overboard. “So the steps falling in on you or the kids are part of your plan for independence?”
“I noticed they rocked a bit. I thought it was just because they’re old.” She hesitated. “Can you show me how to fix them?”
“Vickie, I’ve been known to build and repair whole houses. I think I can manage your steps.” He leaned his elbows on the yellow-tinted counter. “It’s because they’re so old, they probably need to be replaced. I can get it done in less than a day.”
“No, I can do it. Just tell me what to buy. On second thought, don’t bother. I’m sure I can find instructions online and Dannie at Bergmann’s Lumberyard can help me.”
“Vickie, don’t be stubborn. I can give you a list of supplies and one day next week when we’re both off I can show you how to build steps. I think Seth should help. Where is he, anyway?”
“He’s with my dad in the horse barns. They should be back any moment.” She cleaned the same spot she had already wiped several times. With a heavy sigh, she brought her gaze back up to his. “I’m not sure Seth wants to go to the football thing. I’m kind of making him.” She turned away and opened the worn cabinet, gathering two tall glasses in one hand.
The clinking of the ice hitting glass filled the silence. Vickie pulled a pitcher of lemonade from the green refrigerator. She finally started talking again while she focused on pouring the drinks. “Tommy could be...well, not the most encouraging person at the best of times. But when it came to Seth he was...”
She wouldn’t look him in the eye as she passed the full glass over to him.
“Remember, I know Tommy.” He covered her hand with his, holding her in place until she met his gaze. “Don’t make excuses for him.”
Pulling her hand back, she shook her head. “I just don’t want Seth to get hurt.”
“No worries there. Between Pastor John, Rhody and me it’s more about fellowship and having fun.” He grinned as he swirled the glass, watching the liquid form a tornado with the ice. “Don’t get me wrong, we’re guys, so it gets competitive, but the egos stay home. Seth’ll be fine. It’s flag, so no tackling or hitting.” Jake took a sip of his drink. “Now, what about those cookies cooling by the stove?”
“What cookies?” She blocked his line of vision and held the spatula up like a weapon. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, come on, you’re killin’ me.” He knew they would still be warm and gooey. “You know how much I love cookies straight from the oven. I’ll let you build the steps all by yourself, and I’ll just watch from a distance. Please?”
Squinting, Vickie told herself not to look into his eyes. Whenever he’d managed to make eye contact, she’d never been good at telling him no. “These are for Ashley’s horse club.” She turned with a sigh and slid one on the stainless-steel spatula. Holding it from him, she glared. “Just one?”
He nodded. “Just one, promise.”
She watched him take the chocolate chip cookie. His smile warmed her heart in a way no one else ever could.
He closed his eyes and softly moaned as every morsel disappeared. His jaw worked slowly as her gaze followed the movement of his throat.
He looked back at her. “That tasted amazing.” He stood and moved next to her in the small kitchen. Reaching across the stove put him right in her space. “What about one...”
She popped the back of his hand with the spatula. “You promised.”
He gave a sigh and stepped back as if he had made a great sacrifice. “Yes, I did.”
“I used your mother’s recipe.” Feeling awkward, she moved to the sink and dumped her ice down the drain. “We ate a great deal of her cookies at this counter or in the barn when you managed to steal some.”
Chuckling, Jake nodded. “She refuses to make them for me anymore. Not until I give her grandchildren. Parental emotional blackmail at it’s worst.”
“Why don’t you?”
“What?” He blinked.
Whatever. She knew better. Today she was in the mood to push him. He’s the one that left her and then never got married. “Start a family of your own? You’d make an awesome father.”
He shrugged, intensely focused on his drink. “Never felt right. I was on the move with the marines, and then focused on my law-enforcement career. Now working with the church keeps me busy and there seems to be a great deal of kids without fathers in their lives.”
Well, that put her in her place, since her own kids were pretty much fatherless. She started stacking the cookies in an airtight container.
She stopped and turned to the radio. A giddy feeling made her heart bubble. “Jake, it’s our song!”
His brows shot up in a question. “I didn’t know we had a song.”
Hands on her hips she shook her head at his cluelessness. “As chair of the prom committee, I selected the song for the king and queen dance. I knew we had received the most votes.” A sad smile formed. “I picked it for us.”
His forehead wrinkled. “You danced it with Tommy.”
“’Cause you never showed up.” She pointed the spatula at him. “You had the most votes. You were voted king. Because you weren’t there I had to dance with Tommy.”
He dared raise his eyebrows and give her a stunned look. “I didn’t show up? I waited for two hours under the bridge. You told me you would meet me at Second Crossing Bridge. I was so worried I finally went to your house. Your mother took great pleasure in telling me you went with Tommy. What did you expect me to do?”
“Mother surprised me with Tommy and a limo.” She turned away from him and looked out the window. She had been such a coward. She needed to stop blaming her choices on her mother. “I didn’t tell her I was meeting you. She never told me you came by the house. It should’ve been our dance.” The last sentence dropped to a whisper, her chest tight. Silence and sadness surrounded her. The ticking of the old clock erased the years.
She felt the warmth of his presence as he moved closer to her. He stopped two steps away from where she stood.
“We could dance it now.” His voice low.
She looked over her shoulder. The half grin eased the hardness of his face and the pain in her chest.
“Miss Victoria Lawson, may I have this dance?”
She turned toward him. He stood so gallant, hand out to her, waiting. One heartbeat, two, she hesitated. With a deep sigh, she made a step forward and put her hand in his.
One quick turn and he had them out of the kitchen and in the living room. An arm placed at her waist gently guided her through the small gap. His strong hand intertwined with her fingers. He led her in a tight circle around the old coffee table.
She closed her eyes and the dingy trailer slipped away. A million tiny white lights filled the new space in her vision. The soft material of her long gown swirled around her legs.
Hanging on to the moment, she took in all the details of the night they should have experienced. “Why didn’t you come to the dance?” she whispered, afraid to break the mood but needing to know the answer.
“I did.” His voice low and hoarse. “You were dancing with Tommy.” Another turn as the music faded. “I figured you’d made your choice.”
It was her fault? “I think Mama might have known I was going with you and set it up to make sure I went with Tommy, instead. I thought I would ditch him and find you.” They stood face-to-face in the current reality, no music to transport here to another time. “When you didn’t show, I thought you had given up on me.”
He pressed his forehead against the top of hers.
Vickie remained still, listening to him breathe. Afraid, she kept her eyes closed, head down. “Do you ever wonder where we would be today if I had stood up to my mother and gone with you?”
Jake’s strong hands cupped her jaw and brought her gaze up to meet his dark chocolate eyes. “We were so young.” He gave her his best half grin. “And maybe a bit dumb. I don’t know what would have happened.”
She leaned forward and closed her eyes. “You left town, and I was so impatient and couldn’t wait to start my family. Now I’m a full-fledged, messed-up adult with two kids to raise. We can’t get this right, can we?”
Jake held her face in his large hands, tilting her head up. He studied her eyes with the most forceful look she had ever seen in him. Her throat went dry as he moved in closer. His stare now focused on her lips. She stopped breathing, his head lowered. His breath, sweet from the lemonade caressed her skin.
Ashley threw the front door open and burst into the room. “Mommy! Mommy!”
Jake jumped back and coughed.
Vickie couldn’t stop the giggle that sprang from her wrecked nerves. She blinked a couple of times to refocus.
“What is it, sweetheart?” She wrapped her arms around Ashley’s shoulders as her daughter collided into her. Determined to settle her stomach down, Vickie forced a smile.
“Papa Jack’s favorite mare had its foal last night and we got to see it and touch it. It has a blond coat, like me. She is so pretty. I’m so in love with her.”
“I imagine she fell in love with you, too.” She stroked her daughter’s hair back from her face.
“I think she did. She tried following me out. Her legs are so long.” Ashley turned and faced Jake, now sitting on a bar stool at the counter. “Hello, Officer Torres.”
Seth followed a bit slower and much to Vickie’s surprise, he almost wore a smile, reminding her of the boy she used to know. “Hey, Seth, so did you enjoy the horses, too?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, Papa Jack said he can start teaching me to rope. If it’s all right with you.”
Her father walked in behind the kids with a concerned look on his face. “Vickie, why didn’t you tell me the steps were about to collapse?”
“Daddy, they’re not that bad, and I’m taking care of it.”
Crossing the small room, Jackson Walker Lawson, the fourth, called J.W. by everyone but his daughter and grandchildren, shook Jake’s hand.
“Crazy, stubborn girl. I should have come over earlier to make sure it was livable.”
“It’s livable, Daddy. It just needs a little work.” She waved a hand toward Jake without looking at him. There was no way she could make eye contact with him now and not fall apart. “Jake has offered to teach Seth and me to build steps.” She turned to Seth. “Doesn’t that sound fun, building something with our own hands?”
He shrugged again. “I guess.”
Jake stood. “Hey, Seth, are you ready to play some football?”
Seth shoved his hands in his pockets and dropped his head. “I don’t know. I’m not very good. The whole throwing or catching the ball thing seems to be too hard for me.”
Jake stood. “Hey, me, too.”
Seth shot him a classic teenager skeptical glare. “Really?”
“Yeah, that’s why I like chasing down the guys with the football.”
Confusion shadowed his eyes. “If you don’t have the ball, why bother playing?”
Vickie bit her lip. That sounded every bit like Tommy’s glorious words of self-righteous wisdom.
Jake’s jaw went hard. “Football is a team sport, Seth. You don’t have a real game without protectors and defenders.”
J.W. walked over to Seth and patted his back. “Don’t worry about what your dad said, son. You’re almost twelve and growing fast. At your age I could barely walk without tripping.” He gave Vickie and Ashley a hug. “I’m heading out. Call me if you need anything. Love you.”
She kissed him on the cheek. “Love you, too, Daddy.”
“See you later, Jake.”
“Sir.” Jake gave him a nod. After the door closed, her childhood friend stood with his hands in his pockets, keeping his gaze on Seth. “Well, I guess we’ll head out. I should have him back between four and four-thirty.”
“I’ll come pick him up, no need for you to drive all the way out here. What time is it over?”
“We’re usually done before four, but it’s pretty informal, so he can leave whenever you get there.”
“Okay, sounds good.”
They stood there like idiots not wanting to leave but not having any reason to stay.
“Are we going or not?” Insolence laced Seth’s voice.
“Seth!” Embarrassed at his attitude, Vickie sent an apologetic glance to Jake.
“It’s okay.” Jake patted the sullen teen on the back. “I’m ready for some football.” With a wink to Vickie, he followed Seth out the door.
That wink made her feel things she needed to pack away with her homecoming mums. She wanted to be independent. She needed to be independent. Instead, he made her consider giving it all up to hide in his arms. Coming home, she would have never guessed Jake Torres would be the biggest threat to her sanity and heart.
Chapter Six (#ulink_f46459b7-fe9f-5fe6-a4b1-96c50f3da789)
Vickie pulled into the gravel parking lot of the unfinished youth building. Her daughter leaped out of the car before she shut off the engine. Racing across the field, Ashley stopped at the sideline and started jumping up and down, cheering for her brother. Vickie chuckled at the look of horror on Seth’s face.
With a smile, she grabbed the extra cookies she and Ashley had made after Jake had left with Seth. Making her way across the dry field, Vickie kept her gaze on Jake. She stopped next to her daughter.
A mix of men and boys ranging in age from twelve to fifty made up the teams; her son looked to be the youngest. Seth crouched down next to Jake, his fingers in the dusty ground as they made up the line. His stare fixed on her boss, Rhody Buchannan. The Mercantile owner played quarterback for the other team. The ball snapped, and Vickie held her breath. Seth looked so small out there with the men and high school boys.
Rhody handed the ball off to Derrick De La Soto, a teenager in the youth band. Jake cut him off, forcing him toward Seth. Her heart froze, and she shot a quick prayer for her son. Seth pounced and gripped the bright yellow flag from Derrick’s hip. He jumped up with the flag high in the air. Ashley yelled his name and clapped.
With a huge sigh of relief, Vickie released the death grip on the container of cookies. Pastor John blew a whistle and called the game. The teams started mingling and shaking hands. Seth ran toward her, his hair sweaty and plastered to his skin.
“Mom, did you see what I did?”
His blue eyes sparkled in a way she had not seen in the last two years.
“Yes, I’m so proud of you.” I will not cry.
Pastor John walked over and patted Seth on the back. “Great job today, Seth. I’m glad you joined us.”
“Thank you for letting me play. Mom, I got five flags.” He bounced on the balls of his feet.
“I think we might have created a defensive monster,” the pastor said.
“Yeah, they couldn’t get through us. We built a solid wall. I love football, Mom. Dad just had me in the wrong positions.” He glanced at the box in her hand. “Can I have a cookie?”
“Oh, yes. Here, Pastor. I brought your favorite, chocolate chip pecan.” She held out the container, allowing each to take one.
“Can I take them to the teams?”
“That’s why I brought them.”
Seth ran off with the cookies, and Ashley followed. Jake had worked wonders in one afternoon.
The pastor pulled her out of her own thoughts. “Seth and Jake seem to be getting along well. Seth’s coming out of his shell.”
She nodded. “I’m so sorry for the problems he caused with Rachel and well...” She had to say the words no matter how humiliating. “Pastor John...”
“Vickie, it’s okay. Seth apologized, too.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “I did tell Rachel if she ever left the house without permission again, she would be grounded until she turned thirty. Raising children is a rough job, and doing it as a single parent is even harder. Remember, you don’t have to do it alone. The church is here for you.”
She swallowed the burning knot lodged in her throat. “Thank you, but it’s more than Seth’s behavior. I had no excuse for the way I treated Lorrie Ann.”
John rested his hand on her shoulder. “It’s behind us.” He nodded and smiled. “Asking for forgiveness is difficult, but sometimes accepting it is even more so.”
Vickie wrapped her arms around her middle. “Thank you so much for everything.” Pulling her gaze from her son and Jake, she looked at Pastor John. “So now I’m making the dresses for your wedding. How are the rest of the plans coming along?”
He groaned. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m so happy Lorrie Ann has been able to reconnect with her mother and wants to involve Sonia while also respecting Maggie as the mother that raised her, but convoluted would not be an exaggeration. Throw in her cousin Yolanda and my two girls and you have total chaos. Lorrie Ann reassures me it is controlled chaos, but I’m not sure I’m buying it.”
He popped a green Jolly Rancher in his mouth. “We’re trying to keep it small, but everyone in town seems to think they also have a say. Lorrie Ann is excited about the ideas she has for you.”
A little bit of shock still stumbled through her at the thought of making the dresses for Lorrie Ann’s wedding. For a while she had thought dating Pastor Levi would be a perfect way to get over Tommy. He had made it clear he wasn’t interested.
The minute Lorrie Ann stepped back into town, Vickie could tell John reconsidered his stance on dating. That had stung her pride.
Then Jake defended Lorrie Ann, and Vickie had gone right back to high school and picked up the role of the mean girl again. The list of things for which she needed to ask forgiveness seemed to be getting longer instead of shorter.
She could do this. “Maybe Lorrie Ann needs to find someone else. I know a woman in Uvalde that...”
“Lorrie Ann wants you, and Maggie is determined that you make her and Sonia’s dresses, too. Lorrie Ann was amazed with your work on the costumes at the Christmas pageant. Don’t let past mistakes or fear stop you from using your gifts.”
A flash of guilt caused her to bite the inside of her cheek. She had almost ruined the Christmas pageant because she had been jealous of Lorrie Ann. “Thank you. I do love sewing.”
Embarrassment had her wanting to hide, but she had already agreed and she owed Lorrie Ann so much. “Well, the thought of designing dresses for the whole party is exciting.” She looked over the brown football field. Jake had two cookies in his hand. He saluted her and mouthed his thanks, winking before turning back to the huddle of males.
“Pastor John, I have a question,” she said as she focused on the hills surrounding the little valley.
“What can I help you with?” The steadiness and concern in his voice calmed her.
“How do we know God’s plan for us? I mean, how can we tell the difference between what we want and what God wants for us?”
“That’s always a tough question. If it’s driven by doubt, guilt, fear or a long list of other negative emotions, it’s not God. God is love without fear.”
He touched her shoulder to bring her gaze back to him.
“Vickie, find some scriptures that mean something to you and pray on them. Sometimes we are so afraid of change, we tune God out.” He gave her one of his lopsided smiles. “I’ve been guilty of that and almost lost my chance with Lorrie Ann.”
Vickie sighed and looked back over the field at all the male bonding. Jake turned and grinned. Saying a few words, he left the group and started walking toward them.
“Vickie, God doesn’t guilt you or manipulate you into a relationship with him. People will, but God wants you to be there of your own free will. Everything else will fall into place.”
She had done her best to manipulate everyone around her because of her own misery. In the end, Pastor John and Lorrie Ann’s love had won the day. Now she needed to grow up and focus on loving her children.
Pastor John’s voice pulled her back to him. “Jake’s a good man.”
“Yes, he is, but we both know I’ve never been known for being a good or kind woman.”
“Vickie, you were made in the image of God. Sometimes all the other voices confuse us and take us off the path God intended. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get back on, sometimes with even a greater understanding of our purpose.”
Pastor John had always believed in her even when she didn’t deserve it.
Jake joined them and slapped John on the shoulder. “Good game today, John.” He turned to her. “Vickie, thanks for the cookies.” He pushed his hair back and smiled. “Seth did great today.”
“Thank you so much for bringing him. I haven’t seen him this excited about anything in a while.”
“I’ll see y’all later.” Pastor John jogged across the field and talked to the players as they started to leave.
Seth ran over to her, followed by Ashley, his voice high with excitement. “Mom, can we go to the drugstore? Some of the guys are going to get a soda. They invited me. Can I go?”
Jake’s knees popped as he sat on his heels next to Ashley. “You want to go? I’ll treat you and your mom to a Coke float.”
Now her daughter was jumping around. It had been a while since they had gone out. “Mommy, please?”
Jake stood and gave her his best smile. “How about it?”
She had promised herself to keep her distance from Jake, but she looked at the kids, their faces glowing. “Okay.”
Seth whooped and ran back to the small group of teenage boys.
“I’m so glad to see him making friends.” She was doing this for Seth. “Since moving back, Rachel seemed to be the only friend he had, and I don’t think Pastor John was too happy about it.”
Jake laughed and tossed the football to Ashley. “I can’t imagine any father being happy about boys hanging around his daughter.”
* * *
Jake found himself smiling. He buried the urge to take Vickie’s hand as they walked toward the cars. Seth had taken the ball from his sister and tossed it in the air, talking nonstop. All the while, Ashley walked next to Vickie, teasing her brother. Vickie laughed at one of his replies, and it was all Jake could do to not pull her into his arms. This felt so right.
He dreamed of having this family when he allowed his dreams to go there.
Seth bounded into his truck, and they followed Vickie’s Ford to the Main Street Drugstore. He noticed the tires were new.
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